Are You Speaking the Right Language of Love With Your Partner?

You might have heard the general love advice that the best way to make your partner happy in a relationship is to sacrifice everything for him or her.

Not necessarily true!

Yes, we all want to be loved, but because of our different personality types, values and needs, every one of us has a unique preference for what makes us feel most loved. For example, you might have noticed that some women and men respond more cheerfully and appreciatively if you shower them with words of affection as compared to say, buying them an expensive gift. There are also others who may not be totally convinced by the things you say, no matter how nice they may sound, but will give you their utmost trust if you commit your time and effort to do nice, thoughtful things for them.

That’s where the 5 languages of love come into play. Speaking the wrong language could lead to unintentional miscommunication (or the lack of it) and many seemingly intimate relationships have fizzled out because of that. It is important to understand and learn to speak the right language if you want to connect with your partner in a way that makes him or her feel most appreciated and loved.

These are the 5 languages of love:

1. Quality time: For a person who speaks this language, things like eye contact, deep and meaningful conversations and shared activities are needed to feel loved. Bonding time with their partner is what is most important to them.

2. Receiving gifts: When you are with a partner who love little gifts and surprises, this is precisely what you will get. You will constantly be showered with new clothes, flowers or even chocolates. This is how they want to be loved, so this is exactly what they do for their partners. Giving the gift of self is also an important symbol of love to these people.

3. Words of affection: This works by giving your partner constant compliments, sweet love notes and lots of encouragement. This is important because those who speak this language are sensitive people and don’t take criticism as well as others. They may illustrate their frustrations by using sharp words or even by harassing you.

4. Physical touch: If this is the language of your partner they will be very affectionate or, as some like to call it, touchy-feely. Sometimes just stroking your partner’s back, holding hands, giving a hug, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

5. Acts of service: Some people find pleasure in doing things for others. This may mean that they will feel loved when their partners help out with chores or doing things for them. However, acts of service should be done out of love and joy, not obligation.

So which of the 5 languages of love do you speak and, just as importantly, which one does your partner speak?

Don’t make assumptions here – make sure to ask them directly and talk about the different options. Once your love languages have been established, you need to keep communication lines open on what it means to both of you as individuals and in your relationship.

If you communicate with your partner using the right language, he or she will be happier and want to love you back even more.